I Scare Men Away

I met this really cool guy a few weeks ago - he is very cute, very intelligent, and has the intangible qualities that I really love, yet many men today do not have (i.e. he has a sense of propriety.)

I really like him, so I have truly been on my best behavior. Which is saying a lot - in past relationships, I have tended to be 100% myself from day one. This has caused a number of men to decide I am crazy, or if they really like me, "one-of-a-kind."

So, this time, I'm doing things the old-fashioned way - which apparently means discussing the merits of different world cuisines over dinner and drinking pinot grigio for four hours whilst we reminisce about our respective pasts, I with a conscious suppression of my usual bitterness.

When we met, I was super lost and looking around/not seeing him. We bumped into one another and I think I thought out loud, saying something like "Ohh no..." He laughed and had some absurdly cute yet gimmicky comment about how it really wasn't so tragic or something. I think I was in love as soon as he smiled.

In the past, I thought that if I wasn't brutally, excessively open about who I am from day one, I would have been betraying myself somehow - now, I am beginning to appreciate that part of the fun is slowly learning things about each other... and learning that maybe I am not as jaded as I thought.

So, I can deal with pinot grigio and light discussion for a while longer... because I don't think I want to scare this one away. Yet, anyway.

3 Response to "I Scare Men Away"

  • Sebastian Says:

    'Yet'... self-defeating! The worst kind!

    I rarely water myself down. I have been known to do it on occasion with very fragile people, but I would never do it with someone I am romantically inclined towards.

    Perhaps it's because I'm so damn picky and I only go for girls that I think can handle me. I don't want there to be some kind of 'hidden' facade there, just waiting to come out and surprise her at a later date.

    But if it works... :) Good luck!

  • Sebastian Says:

    (Your comment template is a bit weird/broken incidentally, so people might find it hard to leave comments. Fix it, or use the 'pop up' commenting method!)

  • Ms. P Says:

    Haah, well I am not trying to hide anything, it's more that I have decided to behave like an adult rather than simply amusing myself with our interactions (i.e. acting quite foolish)...

    And as for the yet... I am hoping I shan't decide I want to 'scare him away,' but I'm certainly not holding my breath to see whether or not he'll end up boring me!